RIP Panties: How Embracing Foreplay Builds Desire

Passion and desire are expressed in as many different ways as there are people in the world. Depending on the kind of person you are, the level of intensity you feel and whether it is reciprocated are all factors when it comes to the way you express your desire and passion.

For me, it’s not all been flamenco dances in sexy red dresses and rose petals thrust in my direction. They say that guys think with their downstairs brain most of the time but when I get horny with nowhere to direct it I start to think with my vagina. Yes, It’s totally a thing. It’s an ache, an overwhelming desire that needs to be acted on straight away or I might figuratively explode.

So I search for a way to literally explode — into the throes of a tremendous orgasm.

As a single lady, that unimaginable thirst can be quite hard to satisfy. You’d be surprised at how many men I may have hit up (on Tinder, yes) who have been cautious of my not-so-subtle advances. Whether they think I am catfishing them or suddenly want to ‘go slower’ it can be ridiculously hard to convince someone to have sex with me.

I’ve only managed to do it twice, primarily because I usually have a healthy sex life that minimises my vaginal thinking. The first guy I went over and had sex with for an hour, put on my clothes and then walked out the door, never to be heard from again. The second guy tore up my pussy with his giant cock (actually literally) and then told me he wanted to ‘think about it’ when I suggested doing it again and then never got back to me. Probably for the best anyway — I don’t think my girl could have handled him again.

So based on my experiences it seems that I am the only one with all the apparent needs and desires. You see in movies and TV shows and hear in stories that the desire and passion for a person is so intense that they can’t keep their hands off each other and it reached the point that being ravaged that way ended up becoming a fantasy for me. I started to wonder if that is actually possible for someone to feel that for me.

Today, with a giant grin on my face, I am telling you that it is! It is truly intense and electrifying to be on the other side of the passion and desire, where the other person is going to explode if they don’t get to touch you.

And it is a fantastic feeling to be desired that way, and it shows that foreplay is not just about a few minutes of light pussy touching to get it wet and ready to go. It can be slow, and passionate and descriptive. It builds, and baby does it build.

I met a guy at a dating event and we hit it off pretty well. From the moment we walked away from each other we were in constant contact and the compatibility escalated rather quickly. We had a lot of likes in common and our sexual preferences seemed to match pretty well. Upon discovering this we pretty much ramped the sexual innuendos and desires up to a level to the point where he was hard under his desk at work and I was practically humping my chair at 8.48 in the morning. 

Over text we talked of what we wanted to do to each other, how we were feeling and how our bodies were responding, what we liked and how we liked it. It was erotica in real time and eventually the desire to fuck each other was intense.

We had a date in two days but I couldn’t stand the wait so I called it. I invited him over that night and we spent the rest of the day talking dirty to each other about what we were going to do. He told me that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on me the moment he walked in the door.

Now, this kind of foreplay is not for everyone. A lot of people may not be comfortable, or will feel a bit stupid talking dirty or trying to describe what it is that they want or what they feel. A good way to think about it would be that scene in the Netflix TV show Sex Education, where the character of Aimee was asked what she wanted in bed and had no idea. The advice given to her was to take the time to pleasure herself and figure out what it is that she liked and didn’t like. After hours of masturbation she was able to confidently tell her partner exactly what she liked and how to get her off.

If you are interested in trying some dirty talk it’s good to think of this scene. Practice or meditate on what it is that you like and why. In your mind, try and describe it to yourself and then try and describe it to the other person. Start off light — don’t get straight into the ‘I’m going to fucking pound you!’ but start with some sexual jokes or witty repartee. You will find things begin to build naturally from there and soon you can have pages of texting that will work as inspiration for writing your own erotica.

Don’t go crazy using synonyms or over-detailed descriptive words. Write exactly what you feel and how you want to feel it. You don’t need to be flowery — the likelihood is that your partner will be so happy to be engaging you in this way that they won’t really mind if things aren’t spelled right or described in a certain way. They will start to desire you in the same way you desire them.

And then you’ll find yourself where I was where it was like my fantasy was coming true. By the time my date came round to my house I was in a full expensive lingerie set complete with collared bra, corset, barely there panties and thigh high wet-look stockings. He opened the door, saw me standing there, walked straight over to me and took me in the most passionate and hungry kiss I have ever received.

We’d spent all day building up to it and the sex was as hot as fire. He picked me up and pinned me to the wall, taking my mouth in his as we both shucked our clothes. He ripped my $300 set panties straight off my body and bit my thighs.

Now that is fucking.

Being desired in this way, where someone walks across the room and quite literally rips your clothes off (RIP Panties) is so unbelievably sexy, so passionate and so amazing that I highly recommend you do this with that special person in your life. Spend the day building up to it — send a sexy note, take a naughty picture, flash them your favourite stockings under your clothes. Great sex is all about building on to your current place, so don’t be afraid to build the passion and desire.

It will make your partner feel so special and desired by you, it will ignite the fire in you and it will lead to some pretty damn amazing sex.

And in that end, that’s what we’re all craving, so why not build up to it and have some fun while you’re at it?

Bunny Butterscotch

Bunny Butterscotch

Bunny Butterscotch knows the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to a modern day sex life and isn't afraid to talk about it. With a high sex drive and a dirty mind, Bunny navigates her collection of real life sexual encounters and learning curves with an honest outlook. She is a professional writer and author from Canberra.

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