Constant Craving: Between a high sex drive and a hard place

I once read in self-confessed slut Karley Sciortino’s book Slutever that she once had sex with five people in one day. It was her record and she was pretty damn proud of it. Now when I read that, despite being on the same promiscuous page as the Vice blogger and SBS show host, I did do a bit of a double take. I mean, having sex with five people in one day is a lot.

I’m not usually one to double dip, at least not without a shower first, but all of that went out the window when I found myself on a three-week streak. I never even got close to matching Karley’s record and I am kind of glad to say that I haven’t but I’ve now had sex with two different guys in the same day and at least seven different guys over the course of three weeks. I even went to a sex party while I was at it and had a married couple go down on me.

Some people crave sex constantly and others just don’t have the drive. I am definitely the former but even my high sex drive was pushed to the limit. Having a three-week streak may sound like Heaven to some but it turned out to be a huge learning curve for me as I addressed many crucial questions that were running through my mind.

Am I a sex addict?

I have a really high sex drive and if I’m not boinking at least once every two weeks I will start thinking with my vagina and hump any human being with a penis in my radius. I’m definitely hypersexual to the point where I have pondered quite often as to whether or not I am a sex addict but this question was raised again as I went through my fourth guy in as many days. Was I just bored and looking for attention? Did I secretly think my lover was out dating and/or fucking other women and this was my chance to get back at him by also fucking other guys? Did I just kind of like the idea of having sex or did I really have a problem with this?

Sex addiction is usually classified as when sex is had in excess and significantly impacts one’s life in a negative way. It’s still a debatable diagnosable condition but it’s said that generally those with a sexual addiction get easily involved in sexual and emotional relationships with people that aren’t healthy or are unattached due to fears of abandonment or loneliness. It can manifest as an addiction to porn, prostitution, masturbation, exhibitionism or excessive pursuits.At this point in my research I was starting to see a pattern. It’s highly likely I could be a sex addict — I certainly have fears of abandonment and loneliness and have no trouble fucking someone on the first date. But then I looked into it more.

Sex addictions usually result in a decline in personal relationships and familial engagements, decreased concentration and productivity at work and also the possibility of nasty transmitted diseases. But the main evaluations of sex addictions result in feeling powerless over how you act sexually, your sexual choices making your life unmanageable, you feel shame and embarrassment over sexual acts and it becomes over-ritualistic.

I feel none of those. I wouldn’t write a sex and relationship blog if I felt shame over any of my sexual exploits, I am more than capable of not having sex with someone if I choose not to, and I can get along with most activities without preoccupation. After consideration as to why I was letting the fourth guy fist me, I realized I was probably bored, lonely and kind of just wanted to prove to myself I was desirable.

Do I Have a UTI, an STI or am I just sore?

Having constant sex motherfucking hurts. There is a reason couples can get tired and bored when they are trying to conceive a child because after awhile the act of sex is all about the routine and the goal of making a baby. It can stop being fun when you get exasperated over why your egg hasn’t been fertilized yet. But when you are with a different partner every night, with all manner of sizes, shapes and time frames from last sexual conquest, you generally are pretty active and switched on.

Like a KFC chicken I was fingered and licked, but I was also fisted (with a whole fucking hand!), fucked in multiple positions and had numerous sized penises rammed into me. It was all extremely enjoyable but after a while my vagina just fucking hurt. It was actually mildly swollen from so much action and I started to wonder if I maybe had a UTI or a yeast infection. I’ve had yeast infections before so the light burning sensation when I peed felt pretty familiar. I used the cream on it but continued to get fucked senseless every night so that definitely hindered any healing processes the cream would have given.

Because I wasn’t giving my pussy adequate enough time to chill the fuck out the weird feeling didn’t go away and my mind went into overdrive. Did I get an STI from one of the guys? Did someone stick it in my ass and I just didn’t notice? (fat chance of that happening!) Was I just fisted too hard? After a while I found a small vaginal tear on the side of my pussy, which explained why the skin on my taint and my pussy felt stretched.

This is where the process of safe sex is always important! Wearing condoms — especially with multiple partners — reduces the risk of spreading STIs and foreign bacteria to different people and is crucial in this kind of activity. But while you’re at it, lube is also a necessity if you’re planning on having constant action down there — we don’t want you drying up and tearing on us because that sucks just as much!

I am so fucking tired!

When I fuck I can fuck for hours. I love being on top and riding a cock and coming multiple times in one session but after maybe my fifth guy and my fifth day in a row I started to wear myself out. I could no longer last as long as possible on top and while I still climaxed multiple times I was so worked out and tired from my last session that I just couldn’t go as long. I would usually collapse exhausted, sweating from every pore, or simply change positions so that the guy would be the one ramming me.

My stamina dropped quickly and took ages to pick back up. Don’t get me wrong, I could still keep going all night but personally I couldn’t keep the pace up — I just couldn’t handle it!

There is also a different part when it comes to the stamina of fucking every day for three weeks and that is the idea of always being ‘on’. When you’re dating and seeing someone for a while, you are always trying to present your best self to that person. You are engaging in conversation, being witty and funny and the comfort levels are hidden away until you’ve locked them into being your boyfriend and you can let the she-wolf out of her closet.

I saw seven guys in this three week period. Two I saw multiple times and have been very comfortable with from the beginning (one of them being my lover of eleven months but one of them I am trying to coax into being my boyfriend so the comfort level wasn’t quite there yet). Two were people I had already been intimate with, one was a close friend and two were people I had been speaking to and friendly with for a while. Despite the fact that I knew these people already on different levels I still had to be ‘on’ for them. I couldn’t invite them to my house, wearing my jammies without make up on, fuck them in front of the TV and then ask them to leave.

No, I had to offer them a drink, look cute and presentable and be somewhat coy and flirty. I had to be ‘on’ and that was just as exhausting as fucking constantly. By the time the second week rolled around and I invited the guy I am trying to date consistently around, I was so tired I was prepared to go to sleep on the lounge without fucking him.

But no, he drove all the way here, pizza in hand, and so I pasted on a bright face and gladly went to town on his dick.

At the end of it all I was fucking tired. I hadn’t had a break to myself for three weeks. I hadn’t had a night off to just be a slob and sit around in my baggy sweatpants eating cupcakes and watching trashy TV. I didn’t have any alone time where I could switch off.

All the sex was just making both my vagina tired and my mind drained. I had entertained seven different guys over three weeks (plus the couple at the sex party) primarily because I was bored, lonely, looking for affection and attention and because I fucking could. I was no longer any of those things but instead I was just tired and in need of some alone time. The balance of the scales was extremely off kilter no matter which way I pressed my weight.But I did learn something from the whole thing, other than my milkshake really does bring all the boys to the yard. Once I pulled myself away from the habit that fucking became I realised that I needed time to myself, that I didn’t need to be constantly switched on and desirable. I realized that there is a very fine balance between having a high sex drive and having too much sex and that throwing myself in the deep end is certainly fun but if you spend too long treading water you just might drown.

There is a reason that all good relationships all expand to include alone time and time with your friends, following your own interests and your own hobbies. Life really is all about balancing your needs and your wants and making sure you are making the right decisions for you and taking the time out when you need it. It sounds very basic bitch of me but self-love and self-care can mean both taking what you want in the bedroom and then recognizing when to let it go.

Listen to your body — it’s never wrong. If your pussy is screaming, ‘Honey, I need to rest!’ then she is being pretty clear and you should always listen to your instincts.

Especially if it’s advising you on whether you should have sex with five guys in one day like Karley did. Do you really need that many orgasms?

If you do, why the fuck not? Just listen to your body and always check in with yourself and your partners!

Bunny Butterscotch

Bunny Butterscotch

Bunny Butterscotch knows the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to a modern day sex life and isn't afraid to talk about it. With a high sex drive and a dirty mind, Bunny navigates her collection of real life sexual encounters and learning curves with an honest outlook. She is a professional writer and author from Canberra.

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