How to Wear Socks



To fathers everywhere, thank you.

Step One: put on socks.

Step Two: strap on sandals.


Your socks will experience the greatest pleasure when pressed against some velcro (and perhaps elevated by a platform sole). This is no joke, socks ’n’ sandals were meant to be together. This heavenly combo simultaneously creates toasty comfort with a gentle breeze. The best sock for your sandal is the glittery variety. Try Alpha60 for all over shimmer or Gorman for hints of sparkle on a pleasing pattern.

Does your calf surpass ankle and immediately transform into foot? Do you desire an athletic calf? Let’s talk about the art of scrunch. Practice restraint, an all over scrunch will create bulkiness. Pull your sock taught to approximately three fingers below the bottom of your calf muscle and scrunch only around the rim but beware of accidental rolling! For the best scrunchers try Weekday by Cheap Monday’s pastel yellow, lavender and salmon socks.

Socks are mysterious and often do not mate for life. You can mix ’n’ match odd socks within themes and patterns within colour. Try Dangerfield’s range of novelty socks, a burger print sock can be combined with a fries print or lobsters with crabs.

Fireproof socks are the whiskey of socks, thick and warm, smooth and rich in wool. These miniature foot doonas are versatile and functional. Aside from their incredible warmth, fireproof socks are perfect for thickening your soles for a quick trip to the washing line or protecting you from crumbs whilst navigating your share house kitchen floor. For the ultimate foot-toasty, lookout for Holeproof Explorer Woolen Socks.

And that’s how you wear socks.

Amber McCartney

Amber McCartney

Amber is a freelance contemporary dancer from Melbourne. She enjoys chip dinners, wearing a cap backwards and riding her bike ‘Fatty’. You can check out her moves here:

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