As a general rule, men want to put their dicks into everything.
This isn’t necessarily a scientific fact but it sure is a general myth of the male psyche. You just need to mention the movie American Pie and everyone will remember the infamous pie scene in which Jason Biggs is caught by his father putting his dick into a cherry pie because it ‘kind of feels like a pussy’. I don’t want to even research how glory holes were invented and would rather assume — for the sake of my narrative anyway — that a guy saw a hole in the wall, put his dick in and then was pleasantly surprised.
So yeah, if there is a warm and inviting hole available, guys generally want to put their dicks in there.
Luckily for humanity, we have many holes in which to ensure this can happen. We’ve become adept at traditional vaginal sex, as well as spicing things up with oral, but anal has had a bit of a slow welcome into mainstream society’s acceptable sex options.
Doing anal has a lot of stigma around it which has been difficult to shake. The act itself has been around for centuries and archaeologists have unearthed more than 10,000 pots portraying the sexual act in Northern Peru, dating back to between the years 100AD to 800AD.
These pots, while extremely explicit in nature and often showcase many different kinds of sexual acts, including anal play. I’ve seen this first hand during a holiday to Peru in recent years, so can definitely say its been around since year one.
Despite these kinds of acts being depicted on pots and temples that range back centuries, anal in the modern age was something to be looked down on. Back when homosexuality was frowned upon, men were teased for their sexual-orientation, and the widespread AIDS and HIV panic of the 1960s saw the whole idea as not only dirty but life-threatening. Women were deemed whores and tramps for letting a guy defile her in such a way and anal was seen as being a bestial act because of the general positioning of a man behind a woman (or man).
But slowly, through the years, society has started to dip a finger into the idea of anal.
Based off Pornhub data, apparently ‘anal’ is the third most commonly searched term in the UK. Many couples nowadays admit to trying anal at least once during their relationships, and since working at a massage parlor you would be surprised to learn that quite a lot of men come in asking to be penetrated anally. It is finally a common request, but still one that is generally discussed within a cloak of secrecy and privacy.
I totally get why talking about anal is generally done in hushed whispers and behind locked bedroom doors. As women, the idea of general beauty is to put us on a pedestal so that the men never see us in compromising positions. The idea is that in order to be attractive to the opposite sex, we must conform to the idea that all bodily functions are secret. We don’t sneeze, poop, bleed once a month, look sick, or doing anything that could possibly turn males off and as such turn off our chances at having a baby. If you don’t believe me, this clip from College Humour will prove that women’s bodily functions and secretions are kept hidden.
This stigma is hard to shake, to be honest, and whenever I am trying anal with a partner my mind is always 50% on ‘poop comes out of there!’ Whenever things get freaky enough that entering my ass is an option I instantly run through a series of questions in my head, such as:
‘When did I last poop?’
‘Did I clean myself enough down there?’
‘Did it all come out or is there some left?’
‘What if I poop on him?’
‘Should I douche?’
‘Is doucheing bad for you?’
‘Do I hate this or do I kind of like it?’
The thing is, I do like it. But the sudden panic of possibly having poop come out of your ass while a guy’s cock is in there makes the whole experience at least 50% less sexy. I can queef on a dude and laugh but I distinctly remember being extremely embarrassed when a man I was on holidays laughed and told me he had poop on his fingers after he decided to do some exploring.
Sure he was joking but I nearly died from embarrassment. Women have been conditioned to be as sexy as possible and poop is not sexy. I don’t know how people who like being deprecated and defecated on do it.
My current lover has completely handled this situation in the right way though. We were having our fourth round of sex and decided to try something new. He’s always been up for anything in the bedroom so I moved my vibrator I was using from my pussy into his ass while he stuck another vibrator into mine.
Soon, we pulled the vibrators out and decided to insert the actual penis. While I felt his fullness wedge itself deep into my ass, he did something very good and threw the vibrator that had been in my ass on the floor so that it was not a distraction. I saw him do it and I was pretty sure there was poop on it but him moving it away meant there could be no sudden turn off from embarrassment.
We continued fucking, and he filled me to the brim with enjoyment, and when he pulled out of me I lay face down in my post sex stupor and he took the liberty of cleaning me up with a towel I have for such matters. I didn’t even see if there was any poop or not!
When I went to the bathroom to clean myself up after sex he very politely took my vibrator and wiped it down with the towel he had been using, cleaning it up a bit. I was absolutely floored by his generosity and his care in ensuring I didn’t get embarrassed or anything and despite the fact that poop was probably involved there was no big deal and it meant I was able to languish in the after sex glow.
It was a far cry from my first try at anal with husband, who commented how gross it was that poop was on the condom after we tried it for the first time.
If you are embarrassed about the idea of doing anal, maybe for the first time or with a new partner, it’s extremely important that you talk to your sexual partner first. What are they comfortable with? What are you comfortable with? Not every woman wants to wear a strap on and fuck her boyfriend or girlfriend from behind, but some people might want that. Talk about your boundaries, when to pull back, and if something hurts too much. Go slow, ease in right, and use a lot of lube! Lube is key here!
And if there is a bit of poop, so what? Big Deal! Remember that children’s book Everybody Poops? You put a dick in there and poop might come out. That’s the risk we are willing to take to put it in the ass. Embrace the idea and the enjoy act way more.