When you hear the term ‘sex parties’ you generally conjure images of a 70s style kitchen, where people randomly pick some keys from a fruit bowl and pray to God that they don’t get the keys that belong to the creepy old guy in the corner. It’s less about sexual chemistry and more about boredom and it’s a concept that belongs back in that 70s kitchen because I’m here today to lift the lid on the Pandora’s box that is sex parties.
There are many different ways that people can enjoy sex and at the base line of it is that pleasure does not discriminate. We all have our preferred types, genders, looks, kinks and ways to get off and how you like your particular flavour of pleasure is up to you. For some of us who are a little more experimental when it comes to sex this is when a sex party can be a great and safe way to try out what works for you.
Sex parties are not necessarily the key-in-the-bowl stereotype that many have come to envision. In reality, sex parties are basically just the best parts about a good house party — you know, the one during your teenage years where someone gets caught having an illicit tryst, a scandalous nudie run comes sauntering past your eyes and people let go of their inhibitions. Sex parties are just an awesome party where some people get naked and bang. You talk and drink and socialise and meet awesome new people and eventually they might join you on a sex lounge or on the bed later.
The sex parties I go to are in a kink-friendly club in Fyshwick that you wouldn’t know exists. It’s a sleek, dimly-lit venue complete with lounges, a bar and a smoking area, but there are also beds situated around the club, a sex swing and a sex lounge hidden in a corner and a pentagram cross for BDSM Play. The venue is sexy and sophisticated, and there is not a hint of 70s flowered wallpaper anywhere.
The most crucial part about sex parties isn’t the décor and toys though — it’s the respect. Everyone at these sex parties are very respectable and maintain high levels of consensual fun. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some people who know what they want and get it and all the power to them, but they aware of the rules of consent, always ask first and aren’t distraught if you turn them down. If you don’t want to play with others you can simply play with your partner or yourself, or not even at all and it’s quite a pressure-less environment that lets you go at your own pace.
I’ve been to about four sex parties so far and I can say that I absolutely love them because I was able to go at my own pace. The first party I went to I simply hung around with my friend, talked to people and got the lay of the land. We stayed there until 2.30 in the morning and didn’t do anything with any body. The next time, I brought a lover of mine who made a big show of meeting absolutely everyone at the party so that we could have our pick of the crowd, but he got nervous and wasn’t able to get it up (this is a common occurrence with men who first come to these events so don’t be disheartened if this occurs). He still played with me by tying me to the sex lounge and eating me out in front of everyone, with a couple coming over to help soon afterwards, but his quest for an orgy turned into us 69’ing in the smoking room.
Nonetheless, it was very freeing to be able to play in a room full of strangers this way.
The third time I went with my current lover and it was fucking dynamite. We are both highly sexual people and always keen for more and we discussed what we wanted going in, delighting in the idea that for once this was a guy focused on my pleasure.
And sure enough, he met a nice guy, gave him sexy come-hither eyes over the room and this man came over. ‘Let’s get another cock in you,’ my lover said as he turned me around to face this throbbing cock inches from my face. I was delighted — there is a reason they call this the devil’s threesome: because it doesn’t necessarily happen often. I sucked this man’s cock while kneeling on a couch as my lover lapped up my pussy juices like it was cream and he was a kitten. We eventually moved onto a bed in the middle of the room where I proceeded to suck off my lover while our third pounded his rock hard cock into me.
At one point the boys even proclaimed my praises and then proceeded to high five over me as I was pounded from behind and sucked my lover off. Yeah, I got Eiffel Towered.
We were the talk of the night. My legs were high in the air as my lover stretched my pussy out with his hands and our third’s cock. Everyone was watching, and everyone commented on how sexy it was when my lover walked around the party with my panties wrapped around his neck like a prize before he stuffed them into my mouth for round two.
Now all of this may seem a little too much for some people depending on their loving style but this was perfect for what my partner and I were after. I find the important thing about incorporating sex parties into your lifestyle is to find the right partner who is down with it. It can take several parties to work up the nerve to do something with someone else and that is fine. Go at your own pace and at what boundaries have been set between you and your partner.
It’s also important to set personal boundaries for yourself as well. The fourth time I went to a sex party I was in a state of depression and it was a way to get me out of the house but I didn’t want to play with anyone. I had a few people try and suggest some playtime but I simply told them I was not interested. They respected my personal boundaries and backed off which is the overarching rule at these sex parties. If you are not comfortable in any way, or your wishes not respected, or your consent not given, there are important consequences just like in the real world. This never happens as all attendees have to be verified prior to buying tickets.
That’s another thing — everyone is vetoed first, tickets are purchased (to cover the cost of the running of the party) and there are no single guys allowed entry. All men must be accompanied by a female partner to ensure that you don’t end up with a Saturday-evening-down-the-pub leer-fest. It’s well organised, well maintained and overall safe.
Sex parties aren’t for everyone and that is totally fine. But if you want to experience a fun night out in a friendly and respectable atmosphere with like-minded people — and maybe have a few new sexual experiences while you’re at it — I wouldn’t go past the sex party scene.
Life is all about connections and new experiences, you just need to get your in.