I put magnets on my eyes because someone said it’d make me look pretty.
And so what I should actually be doing right now is having a good long look at myself because, really? But also, and though it shames me a bit to admit this, that’s not even close to the craziest thing I’ve done in search of purchasable perfection.
So, look… I saw this Instagram ad for magnetic eyelashes and I was like, yes*. I’d tried and failed at the glue on ones and I wasn’t ready to commit to the longer-lasting beautician applied fakies, so this seemed like a solid middle ground. And it worked for the women in the video.
*full disclosure, I’d had a couple of glasses of wine.
They took about four weeks to arrive and when I finally got them I was ready for them to be excellent. The little hinges on the box broke off in my hands, which wasn’t a super good sign, but meh. I squinted in front of the mirror in the hallway and got down to trying this out.
Here’s the thing, I do not understand how other women do this, because it seems to me that this product has a fundamental design flaw. You put one magnetic lash on the top lid and another on the underside and they clip together in the centre, but this means that, unlike glue on lashes that adhere to the skin, these need to sit really far forward on the lash in order to connect. It just looks weird and it’s kind of heavy.
Also, there’s only a tiny little magnet right in the centre, so the ends curl away from your eyes in both corners and look fake, which is 100% not the goal here.
So, I figured: modify. Right? I just cut them a little bit so that they were the same length as my natural lashes, which I thought might make them look fuller. Yep, so that was a bad idea because then they looked like the bitten nails of the eyelash world. Do not recommend.
In the interest of being fair, let’s take a look at (word-for-word) what they say in the product description:
- Can be applied instantly without CLUMSY GLUE
- Ummm, I guess?
- Light like Feather which no one not even yourself knows you’re wearing the Lash
- Didn’t feel that light to me, but maybe other people have developed eyelid strength?
- Newly launched magnetic technology ensures your Lash at its ideal place
- No. Just no.
- Secure to be used every day for the patented glue will do no harm to your skin of natural eyelashes
- Wait, what? I don’t think we need to make this about mastery of the English language, but that sentence doesn’t make a lot of sense.
In any case, right now my magnetic eyelashes are floating around somewhere in my makeup drawer and in ten years time I’ll probably clean that shit out and throw them in the bin like the garbage they are.
I’m clearly not a professional reviewer, so I didn’t get these for free or anything. Nope, I paid actual money for this product and I have used it (read: left the house with it on) zero times.
But also, purchasable perfection is not a thing. Buy this product if you’ve got the money to spend on humorous gimmicks.