Being single can be really fun.
It can be so fun that even committing to simple things like dinner with a friend can be hard. Is it then any wonder that the thought of sharing my life with a significant other makes me feel like there’s something very tight and possibly made of fire and glass around my neck?
Being single when you’re a woman of my vintage, can really open you up to judgments, because let’s face it: if you’re single past a certain age group, people think that you’re either emotionally unstable, sit in the corner at night and chew your hair as you rock back and forth or that you only like the company of cats; I rescued a cat recently but that’s just a coincidence and I don’t like to see animals in distress, so keep your judgments to yourself, please.
Single people sometimes just like being single. A good reason is you can cook for yourself and not feel obliged to share your food with some moocher who is too lazy to cook their own chicken curry, because quite frankly, yours is tastier. I love cooking for two, I just prefer if that other person is me enjoying that second serving of food for lunch, the next day at work.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have someone care about you and tell you you’re a 10 out of 10 on a daily basis but you can do that on your own can’t you? I do miss certain things, like having someone pick me up late at night or fixing the TV antenna, or being there to zip up my dress but it’s not a reason to be in a relationship and besides, all you need is YouTube now for stuff like that anyway and a coat hanger for your zipper dilemma.
People will also love to hurl their unwelcome judgments at you: ‘If you want children you better hurry. Those ovaries will look like moscato grapes soon.’ Mind your own business, I love moscato grapes and I love them even more when they’re liquefied and in a glass, accompanied by a bag of chips.
I have been married before and because I was quite young when I went through that journey, it kind of feels like I am living my teenage years now.
I also love Wonder Woman and in fact, I even own a replica bracelet and a pair of Wonder Woman pyjamas which I sometimes like to sit in for a day, and so what if I do? I have fucking earned it and if I want to believe I am some sort of superhero, then I’ve earned that too and maybe I am, did you think of that?
I have learned a lot about being on my own and I can safely tell you that whether or not you’re ready to be with someone is up to you and people like to make a lot of assumptions about your status. Not everyone by the time they reach their 40s, wishes they were married with babies or even wishes they had someone to share their life with. Like everyone, sometimes I dislike people and I don’t want to even share a train seat with them, let alone my dinner or even my whole life.
I have had people on so many occasions say ‘why are you single, don’t you get out?’ Yes, I do and not that I need to explain my whereabouts to you, it’s bad enough that Facebook needs to know my fucking location every time I post a status; but there it is, that assumption that you’re looking for someone or that you don’t leave your house for days. If you’re on your own or don’t post on Facebook every single time you’re out, you must be lonely or on Netflix.
I believe that healthy relationships happen when you’re happy within yourself and when you’re busy spending time working on yourself and your goals. I have too often seen a pattern of unhealthy relationships between people who were desperate to have a better half because they were lonely or afraid of being alone.
For now, I am going to enjoy being alone so that I can focus on Twin Peaks Season 3 because, quite frankly, trying to dissect David Lynch’s work is enough of an emotional and mental head fuck and a relationship will just have to wait.